Monday, October 24, 2011

Nine Horses

The first thing I tell anyone who is considering getting animals is to first consider fences.

What kind of fences?     The Best Darn Fences Money Can Buy.

Trust me.   It'll be worth it.

One of our neighbors once said to me, "If you've got animals, they'll get out."    Truer words have never been spoken.

For example, the other day while K1 and I were putting deer fence over the cold frames to keep the cat from using them as a litter box [*!&^# cat!!], a neighbor stopped by to ask us if we knew anyone around us who had horses, because nine of them were in her yard.

Yep, that's what it's like in the country.   You never know when you're going to take the trash out and find nine horses staring at you as they clip your grass down to nothing.

Luckily, we have a lot of grass and we won't miss it.

Four hours later, just after dark, another neighbor called me and said, "Quick, pull your car across the road so we can stop these horses".

Of course, I ran right outside and did it.

We're cooperative out here that way.

A few minutes later, we could hear nine horses clip clopping down our gravel road.  

And then they stopped at my car.

And looked at me, like I was supposed to do something.    Other than stand there in the dark saying, "It's OK, just stay put."

But they did stay there.   Until their owner came to get them and they all lived happily ever after, amen.

Not.

Those horses sized me up pretty quick and what they saw was a short nervous woman backed up by two short nervous kids, none of whom were a serious deterrent.  

So nine horses went around me.   Into my flower garden.   Up the rock paths.   Up onto the back patio where Tibby was tied up so as not to scare the horses into charging and really hurting someone.   Whereupon Tibby promptly sounded the general alarm.

They didn't like Tibby much, so they veered away and up through the veg gardens into the wilderness of brambles beyond.

Yet another neighbor came up behind them and since there was no way under the big night sky we were going to get those horses home, and since there was a lot of electric fence between the horses and yet another neighbor's place, we decided to leave them be.   It was dark.

So he went home and we went in the house to call the neighbor behind us and the phone was dead.

Dead, dead, dead. 

Somehow, those nine horses killed the phone.

Without going any where near the phones or the phone line.

Cursed horses!

So I went outside to check the jack and wiggled something and then the phone worked again.  About that time, Eric got home and we told him all about the nine horses.

And then Tibby let us know that the nine horses had come forth from the wilderness of brambles and were back in the yard.

Yay.

So Eric and I guided those horses right back to the road.   And those horses did just what we wanted them to do.   And then the owner came and they all lived happily ever after, amen.

Not.

Those horses moseyed their way right back up the road where they came from.   And Eric, being the great guy that he is, (and also remembering the number of times our wonderful neighbors chased our blasted sheep back home to us) followed those nine horses back up to the second neighbor's road, and then down their long drive, where he met the neighbor and they watched the horses go past the barn and down into the pasture where they'd spent a good part of the day and where they'd probably be just fine until their owner came.

And all that time, I tried to call those neighbors to tell them Eric and nine horses were on their way.   But the phone was dead again.  

Those nine horses killed my phone again.   Without going any where near the phones or the phone line.

And then Eric and the neighbor chatted about dumb sheep and dumb horses and then the neighbor drove Eric home.   And then the owner really did stop by and say thanks.

I have great neighbors.   I love them.

I'm not so big on nine horses, though.

3 comments:

  1. You could have saved me one!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't you love the country? Remember the time we had a pig come to us? Or the goat? Oh, yes...country visitors are fab!!!!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Next time we will try to send you something smaller then horses. Love your stories and LOVE having you all as neighbors!!

    ReplyDelete

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