Sunday, June 17, 2018

Forgiving Yourself

As I mentioned in the post last Sunday, failure is part of learning new things. 

This is hard for me.  I am learning how to forgive myself for being less than perfect at all times, in every situation, to everyone. 

This is why:

  • Learning how to deal with failure allows you continue exploring, experimenting and interacting confidently without beating yourself up every time you do something less than perfect.  If you keep beating yourself up, you're going to end up being a hermit in your house, afraid to do anything at all. 
  • It is impossible to please all the people.  They all want different things.  You can't always tell what they want.  You have to choose what to do and in choosing, someone is going to get left out.  It's the way it is.  
  • Learning to forgive yourself helps you to approach situations with more confidence and that ups your likelihood of success.
  • Learning to forgive yourself lowers your stress and is easier on your body, which in turn makes it easier to be productive.  
There are lots of other reasons, too

Here's the deal though - I know why it's a good idea to forgive myself, but I'm not very good at the how.

Here are some things I've been doing when I find myself in a failure funk and need to get into a head space where I can forgive myself:
  • Take steps to actively repair any problem I've caused.
  • Repeat a mantra like this:   'I am enough.  I have enough.  There is enough.'
  • Take minute to get grounded in the moment and then enjoy it.  Listen to the birds, feel the sun on my back, smell the lilacs, cut a few flowers for the studio. 
  • Weed a garden bed.  It makes things look nice,  feeds the chickens, lets me connect with earth.
  • Go for a walk.  Usually, I feel better after the first mile.  
  • Talk about it with a trusted friend.  Saying things out loud often helps put things in perspective.  Plus, people are not as hard on me as I am on myself and they usually have valuable ideas.
  • Let go of relationships with people who make me feel bad or where I am a better friend to them than they are to me.  
All of these things help me get to a place where I can take a deep breath, fix any issue, forgive myself and move forward without being afraid all the time that I'm going to make a mistake.  

As with all things, this will be easier for me in time, with more practice.  


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