Creative Wounds

Creativity is a dynamic thing.   It ebbs and flows.

When you're in flow, it's awesome.  You're creating great stuff  - or learning great stuff and you don't care that the finished product is less than stellar.

A creative ebb is not so awesome.  Staring at the blank paper, brush in hand, wondering if every successful thing I've done before was a fluke is not my idea of a good time.

I was talking to an artist friend recently about what causes creative block and we ended up talking about the notion of 'creative wounds'.

Since then I've been thinking about the things that have caused creative wounds for me.   Wounds serious enough that I just don't want to try any more.

The most serious wounds for me come when I come face to face with my mindset problems.  And they almost always center around Expectations. 

• Others' expectations that my work should be better.  More original.  Less colorful.  More urban.  Less rural.  More sky.  Less sky.  More floral.  Less like me.  More like something else. 
• Others' expectations that they are the gatekeepers of beauty and they have the right to judge my creative output. 
• My expectations that my work should be better.  That it should be easier.   That I should be able to do things faster.  That I should have better composition, or color harmonies, or subject matter, or something.  That I should get into more juried shows and that if I don't, it means I'm a bad artist.  That someone else gets to decide what 'good' is and if I can just figure that out and spend 24/7 practicing, then finally I'll be 'Good'.  
• My expectation that all efforts that aren't great [frameable/sellable] are a waste:  of effort, of time, of materials.  And that all waste is evidence of a deep character flaw.
• My expectation that my worth is completely and totally tied to the worth of my final product - and that is determined not by me, but by Others.

Geeze.  It hurts just thinking about it. 

The only way to get over these types of wounds is with a lot of care.  Creative Therapy, if you will. And that's going to be 90% deciding how to think about things differently and 10% practice reminding myself to think about things differently.  These are my current mindset shifts:

• My opinion of my work [and my life] is more important than anyone else's. [I'm going on a juried show hiatus for a while.  I'm generally just fine when I get rejection letters, but this summer I want a break from that.]
• All great artists do the equivalent of piano scales for.ev.er. before they get great and those resources are not wasted, but merely stepping stones to a more satisfying-to-me place. 
• My worth is completely independent of my creative output.   A stack of 'bad' paintings is evidence of practice, nothing more, nothing less. 
• Learning and experimenting can be fun.   Actually fun.   I'm good at learning, not so good at fun, so I have given myself the task of learning how to have fun.  [Which makes me laugh, so I think I'm on the right track.]  I think that will involve a lot of paper and paint and exploration and experimentation and stacks of things that will never see a frame.  

And I'm Ok with all that.   I can feel my Creative Wounds beginning to heal already.  

Play

I've been thinking a lot this year about the importance of Play. The key thing about play is that it can only happen in the absence of self-consciousness.  If you're going to play you need the freedom to do the thing without anxiety about being 'too' anything - too loud, too messy, too bold, too wasteful, too wrong, too blue, too big, too small, to many mistakes, too spread out, too 'me' or too not what someone else likes.   And without anxiety about being 'not enough' - not perfect enough, finished enough, efficient enough.

This year I've been practicing doing things un-self-consciously.  I try to do things without following patterns, with no thought about a finished project, without worrying about doing it wrong.  I'm not very good at it yet but I have been able to get to know a long neglected part of me again - the messy, inefficient, irresponsible part of me that is brave enough to try some new things and break new ground.   That's where growth happens.

Chaos

Color play: Golds, Bt Sienna, Ultramarine Blue & Dioxazine Violet

For the past year I have been doing a daily online course through DailyOM - A Year to Clear.  It's a lovely slow drip that helps people learn to tackle the mess. Soon you see that the real treasure it offers is this:  It guides you, in equal parts, to put in order your outer life and your inner life.

It's been enlightening.

I'm on day #337/365.  I realized this morning that even though I started this course to find a way to deal with the chaos of a huge, several-years-long house remodel and the never-ending mess, that in addition, what I needed to learn was to *allow* chaos into certain parts of my life. 

I need to let my studio stay messy - so that I can see the things that inspire me and so that it's easy to maintain a creative practice. Because I could not impose order on the house, I had imposed too much order on the studio. I have found a better balance now: There is one area of neatness and visual peace, with another area behind me that is a working space where I can leave the supplies and inspirations out and create on the fly. This has helped my creative practice enormously.

But there's more.

As I explored more deeply, I found that 'chaotic' was a part of myself I have kept punched way down and locked away. This class was another attempt to eradicate it from myself completely, when really what it needed was to come out and play.

Messy

I've been doing some art journaling this month in the style of Amanda Grace.  It's been a strangely addictive and satisfying process.

At the beginning I felt an equal amount of pull and resistance to the idea.   I had  a strong feeling that this was something that would be healing for me and an equally strong fear that I wouldn't do it right and that it would be ugly and reveal how ugly I am inside [which is why journaling is not something I do much in the first place]

I decided to yield to the pull, so I got some white and black gesso, some crackle paste and a set of  acrylic paints.  Everything else has come from my collection of materials for scrapbooking and altered books.

The first page was terrifying. I posted it on Amanda's facebook page just to have someone else witness that I'd at least tried... and bless them, they witnessed.

As I work on the pages, I find that I dive in with my fingers, testing to see if things are dry, smearing the gesso and color around, getting glue stick all over everything.   I don't like messy, sticky fingers, and I wash them a lot, but two minutes later I find I'm finger-painting yet again.   It's a bit like meditation, I suppose - the mind drifts, then you keep coming back to center.   I realized that 'messy' is the center I need to keep coming back to for now.

My intention for this journal is to explore my anger and though I find it very unattractive, Amanda suggested that I just explore it and leave the 'unattractive' label aside for now.   She gave me permission to go there, explore and express without judgment and I am taking her advice.

For now I do the messy work of getting to know the nuances of that part of myself and in doing so, I find that I am creating a refuge for myself.

It turns out that 'messy' can be very healing.   

Transformation

Happy Halloween!   Halloween was set on the traditional date of the old Celtic celebration, Samhain [pronounced SOW-en].   It's the season of shadows and spirits and transformations of all kinds.

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hahn's book, You Are Here, in which he talks about exploring our shadow self, the darker, less socially acceptable parts of ourselves that we are quick to hide and slow to acknowledge.

His advice was elegant.   Allow yourself to witness the shadow parts of ourselves.  Just notice and witness.  There is no need to banish them, because they are an important part of who we are, and all things can be transformed.  He says,

'In Buddhist meditation, you do not turn yourself into a battlefield, with good fighting against evil.  Both sides belong to you, the good and the evil. Evil can be transformed into good and vice versa.' 

Transformed. You do not have to destroy part of yourself, you only need to find a way to transform it.  The energy is still there, but changes form.  Shape-shifting energy.  And as it changes shape, it can do different things. 

I am taking today to witness my shadow self and then identify those areas that can be transformed into something more useful.  For example, I have been witnessing in myself a lot of anger.  Instead of being upset with myself for harboring so much deep anger [nice people aren't supposed to be angry], I am simply noticing it.  All of it.  I asked myself what that anger can be transformed into that would serve me better and after considering it for a time, I realized that my anger is an excellent tool for reminding me where my boundaries are or ought to be. 

Today I will honor my anger and turn it into a tool for helping me establish and honor better boundaries - something that has traditionally been a weak area for me.  This way I can witness my shadow self without being ashamed and without becoming a battlefield.  I honor my anger and I honor my boundaries.  That feels really good.

Happy Halloween!   Blessed Samhain!

Re-Entry

We had our retreat last weekend and It. Was. Spectacular. 

These women are incredible.  We had hours of conversation, insights, and laughter as we explored big ideas, journaled, played, walked and created.  Retreats like that are so useful because they take you out of your everyday habits, which lets you get out of your everyday thinking.  There is time to just sit, write, think, and consider things a different way.   There is time to rest and let the busy mind settle for a while.

We considered what our Best Lives would look like.  What needed to be released.  What needed to be added. What the next steps would be.  What kind of support we needed.  How to change our thinking.  It was magical.

And then we hugged each other good-bye, and headed back to our daily lives. 

Sometimes re-entry into daily life can be rough.

This is what my re-entry was like:  Clean up and pack all the boxes, food, table, etc. from the retreat in the cars in the rain.  Go home.  Realize how little sleep I got over the last week and how tired I was.  Alternate feeling joy at what we accomplished and guilt over the mistakes I made.   Realize that the Construction Fairies had not come while I was gone to finish the huge house remodel we're doing.  [Neither had the Dusting, Sweeping, Dish Washing or Laundry Fairies.]   Help with homework.  Fall down the stairs [just the last few, but ow.]  Realize that my brain was fried.   Feel like a totally terrible example of living my best life now.   Veg out on couch for 6 hours.  Stay up until midnight helping with more homework. 

Re-entry was not magical.

But in the spirit of dealing with the realities of my life with grace and compassion for myself, I decided not to beat myself up over the rough re-entry.   Transitions always begin with an ending and in this case, something wonderful ended and it would take time to adjust, to pick back up the rhythm of home, work, relationships.   That's normal.  It's OK that there was some turbulence on re-entry.  I'm back now.

The only way I can change my life is to live it.  If I'm going to live My Best Life Now, then I start today dealing with what's in front of me.  Release what no longer serves me.  Do things that do serve me.  I have a choice.

Shameless

Winged Sumac, October

I was at a circle the other night and during the opening meditation, a couple of cell phones buzzed loudly.  I felt a flash of annoyance.  When the meditation was over, the hostess laughed and said how awesome it was that you could feel the vibrations through the floor. She asked whose they were, and no one spoke up.  She laughed and said, 'There's no shame here.  Those phones made the funnest sounds, didn't they!'

There's no shame here.  

That phrase echoed in my head for the rest of the night. 

A place with no shame.   

I had never considered such a thing before.  And that's when I realized that I carry shame with me Every. Where.  I. Go.  

Shame is something I learned early.  It was used as a weapon in many places in my life.  Somewhere along the line, I got really good at it.   I could shame myself better than anyone could shame me.  I knew every single tiny error that I made every single second of the day and I shamed myself for every single one.  I knew that if I admitted to myself where I screwed up and felt remorse for it, then I couldn't be surprised or manipulated by anyone else trying to use my mistakes against me.  

This strategy successfully allowed me to dissociate from certain types of controlling personalities in a way that prevented me from be victimized. 

However, it undermined my confidence in every area of my life.  In situations where the person was not shaming me, I doubled down my self-shaming efforts.  I could never enjoy any relationship, interaction, achievement or success, no matter how small, because I was so very aware of every error and I felt remorse for it.  Shame was my constant companion.  I took Shame everywhere.  

It's time for me to let that go.  I'm sending Shame to live in a beautiful house on a beach somewhere where she can spend her time criticizing the grains of sand for not being perfect, the beach water for being smelly, the weather for being unruly. When she takes her proper place as Conscience instead of Shame,  I may call her occasionally to check in about big things, but she is not coming with me everywhere anymore.   

I will spend more time enjoying my achievements.  With my new endeavors, I will celebrate every single baby step in the right direction and all of the fun field trips along the way.   I will love more fully in all my relationships and that will compensate well for the inevitable missteps that happen between people.   

And in time, I will be able to say, 'There's no shame here.'

Tending the Fire

Once in a long while,  I have to just sit down and pay attention to something without doing much else that engages my brain.

Tending a brush burn is one of those.   I have to be with the fire in the field, but I only add wood a few times an hour.  The rest of the time I just have to sit. Or stand.  Always with an eye on the breeze and floating ash.  Eventually the pile of wood is gone and I get to spend a few more hours just watching it burn down until nothing but embers is left and we can douse it.  It's a lot of time for my brain to wander.

I have a busy brain.   It reminds me of all the things I want to do but haven't.  Or need to do but haven't.  It reminds me of things I did wrong or could have done better. The things that I tried that didn't work out.  The time I wasted doing it.  It pulls up uncomfortable feelings about things that have happened and tells me that if I'm uncomfortable, then I must have done something wrong and so I should fix it. Then it goes round and round trying to find a way that I could have done things differently.  If I remind it that it's too late to change anything, it invites shame and guilt over for a play date. If it comes to the conclusion that the problem lay with someone else's choices, then it goes round and round and round to make sure, searching and searching for the mistake that I must have made.  It compares me with my favorite people - pointing out all the ways I am not like them.  It tells me I am stupid.  Lazy.  Unattractive.  Repulsive. A failure.  It tells me that there is no way I'm going to accomplish the goals I have and that the goals I've already achieved don't mean that much.

It will go on as long as I let it.

This is the main reason I work so hard and multi-task so relentlessly.  Working and juggling multiple tasks are my coping mechanism for giving my brain something else to think about besides telling me how rotten I am. 

It's a very effective strategy.  Except for the burnout.  Also the reluctance to make lasting relationships [with awesome people who I'm not at all like].  Also the reluctance to go out socially [great situations in which to make lots of mistakes].   And don't forget the depression and anxiety. 

So basically, what  I have finally acknowledged is that my tried and true methods for coping with my busy brain have some pretty nasty side effects. 

This year I spent some serious time and study finding new ways to think so that my brain isn't always beating me up.  I read some great books.  My favorites were Rick Hanson's Hardwiring Happiness,  George Pratt & Peter Lambrou's Code to Joy,  and Danielle La Porte's The Desire Map.    Each one gave me a new way of thinking about why my brain does what it does, how to teach it new habits and how to choose a life based on feeling good. 

So last weekend, when I was sitting, tending the fire for hours and hours and hours, I found things for my brain to do other than beat me up.  I spent a lot of time expressing my inner music instead.

With time and the right care, healing happens.

How does your brain treat you when you have nothing to do but tend the fire? 

Noticing

There's something very powerful about taking a second to notice what's going on around you.   Really notice.

Recently I was in a yoga class and during the beginning part, the instructor asked us to pay attention to our breathing - to how the air felt going in and down our throats.   I'd never noticed before.  It was interesting to pay attention to that. 

I like paying attention.  I live in my head a lot, so I take time every day to go for a walk. This gets me away from the everyday things that might irritate me if I paid too much attention to them -the dirty dishes, the pile of laundry, etc. Instead, I go outside and I notice the sky, what's on the road, how Doug's field smells, the air temperature on my skin, the sound of the creek. Still, I often get distracted by the things in my head and need to bring myself back to noticing again. The acorns on that fallen branch, the smell of the wet cedars, the suspicious way the cows are looking at me and Pepper, what is blooming in the south ditch. 

Noticing has helped me pull out of emotional spirals, has helped me get into my body and out of my head.  It has helped me look at the universe and appreciate what is in it a little more fully.   Those experiences are always positive [at least they are never negative] and they have little emotional content that is difficult for me to deal with. 

Rick Hanson, in his wonderful book, Hardwiring Happiness, uses 'noticing' as the first step in his HEAL technique. 

• Have an experience.  Notice.
• Enhance the experience.   Notice all that's wonderful about it. Make it big and wonderful.
• Absorb the experience.  Take 10 seconds and just let that goodness sink in.
• Link that experience to others. 

I have found this to be a wonderful way to build a collection of positive experiences that fill my head and heart with positivity instead of anxiety and negativity.   

Take a moment now to get away from what is bothering you so you can just notice the other things around you, or go for a walk and look around.  What did you notice today?  I'd love to know.

I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Intuition

Over the years, I've made a lot of life changing decisions.  Some were based on logic and reason.  Some were based on emotion.   Some were based on intuition.

Merriam-Webster defines intuition this way:

1 : immediate apprehension or cognition without reasoning or inferring. 2 : knowledge or conviction gained by intuition. 3 : the power or faculty of gaining direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.

The common thread in all of that is the notion of knowing something without evident rational thought.

It is very important to get quiet and still enough to listen to your intuition.  Quiet the other voices of strict rationality, of fear, of anger, of guilt, of regret, of sadness - or the voices of other people in your life who love telling you what to do.  Note them, then listen past them.  What is your gut saying?  That's where intuition lives. 

There have been  more than few times in my life where I listened to intuition and then followed it. Every single time, I have been glad I did - even though rationally, these decisions seemed crazy or risky.   As I have gotten older, I have tried to listen more and more.   Which relationships should I let go of?  Which should I hang on to?  What new things should I try?   Who should I get to help me?  Should I take advantage of this new opportunity or let it go?   Should I respond?  What kind of person do I want to be?   How can I Be instead of DO all the time? 

What questions are you facing lately?   What does your rational self think?  What does your emotional self think? 

What is your intuition telling you?

Rewards

This photo is from a few years back when I first started growing a bunch of winter squash.  It was wonderful.  The colors, the textures, the tastes...heavenly!  Then the vine borers and squash bugs took over and I haven't been able to grow much of any since. 

I tried.  Lots of manure, lots of weeding, lots of attention to squash bug eggs, etc.   They died anyway.   All that work and no reward.

Rewards are important. 

How often do you work and work and work and then there's no payoff?     I do that.   I wear 'Delayed Gratification' like a badge of honor.   Don't get me wrong, delayed gratification is a really important skill to cultivate; however, a lifetime of investment without taking a return is really unhealthy.  This, I know.

As awesome as delayed gratification is for character development, knowing how to Receive is just as important. 

If you've been waiting too long to receive, then it's time to reap the harvest, claim your reward, initiate immediate gratification.  This is an important part of self-care. 

[And self-care is important because in meeting our needs, we become happier, and happier people make better connections with others, have an easier time setting and reaching goals, are healthier, etc.  You know I'm right.]

If you're worried about being selfish, then remember that you simply need to receive those rewards for things you have done the work for.  It's the law of the harvest - you planted the seeds, you get to reap the harvest.   The harvest is ready.  You're done waiting.  Claim your reward.

I'd love to know what your rewards are!  Drop me a line or comment below. 

I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Harvest

It's harvest time.   Time to gather in all the fruits of your labors.   And that always begs the questions:  What have you been laboring on?   What seeds have you planted?

Harvest time is the time to evaluate things and start making plans for next year.   What paid off?  What do you want to try again, maybe a different way?   What are you absolutely done with?  What would you like to add?

I'm not just talking about gardens.  In your life, what is paying off?   What do you want try again in a different way?   What are you ready to let go of?   What are you ready to start?

Ease

Since February, I've been getting daily posts on 'A Year to Clear What's Holding You Back' from Daily Om.   It's a slow drip of ideas on what it takes to clear my life of the crap I hold.   I've loved it.  I've learned a lot.  I've talked to some wonderful people in the online group.

A few weeks ago, the topic was, 'Ease'.  It was such a big idea for me that I spent three weeks on it instead of one.

One of the toughest things I've had to face this year is my assumption that things have to be hard.  I tell myself, 'Things have to be hard.  I have to work hard.  Life is work.  If I were perfect, then things might be easier, but I'm not, so get back to work.'

I like work, so it's not all bad, but I have been very troubled that things are so hard.  I work work work and things still don't work out.  I've been exhausted and burnt out and completely depleted.

I wonder in what ways I'm making more work for myself.  I'm looking at where I can simplify, focus, condense, get help, tolerate imperfection, etc.   I'm wondering what things/business activities/relationships/etc. I can let go of to free up some time for....

...more work.  Clearly, I need to think about this more.

I understand that I like doing hard things so I can prove that I'm not a slacker, that I'm worth something, that I matter.  I'm wearing myself out trying to earn respect.   The problem is that I don't respect myself.  I'm trying to change that.  More positive self talk.  More self care.  Baby steps.

If the work were done, I'd spend more time plein air painting, bird watching, going on day trips, taking classes, having tea with my girls, hosting women's circles, walking, having quiet lunches with friends, making potpourri.

This issue is far from resolved for me, so in the meantime, whenever I can, I choose Ease.

How are you with choosing Ease?



What would it do for your spirit to spend an entire weekend with other supportive and loving women being inspired, igniting your creative passion, embracing your power, and opening your heart to live your best life? Please come to our weekend retreat so we can get you started on your way to living your best life now. Registration closes August 31.

I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Making Room for Magic Experiences

We need more magical experiences.   Experiences that make us feel bigger, better, smarter, more attractive, loved, valuable, effective and safe.

These experiences happen for me when:

• I can take the time I need without feeling rushed.
• I don't have a secondary [or tertiary] agenda and I'm not multitasking.
• I learn something new or see something in a new way.
• I get to play.
• I get to explore.
• I get to make mistakes.
• I feel like I'm being a good version of myself.

When do magical experiences happen for you?         I'd love to know.




What would it do for your spirit to spend an entire weekend with other supportive and loving women being inspired, igniting your creative passion, embracing your power, and opening your heart to live your best life? Guaranteed to be full of magical experiences!  Please come to our October weekend retreat so we can get you started on your way to living your best life now. Registration closes August 31.

Also, I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails. In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.

Making Room for Magic Relationships

Thank you all so much for showing up here every week to join the conversation!  I see that things are shifting for many of you.   Please take a moment to celebrate the energy and courage it takes to do things in a new way.  I love you!

During the past year, I've noticed how many of us are dealing with relationship issues.  Relationships are the one thing that binds all humans together.  If there is a Final Judgement, it will be based on how we navigate relationships. It's the one single thing that every human has and they are that important. 

Take a moment to consider how you navigate your relationships.

We crave relationships with people who make us feel valuable; who are kind to us; who we can trust, who listen; who understand; who make time for us; who want to be with us; who honor our effort, our intelligence, and our other best features; who bring out the best in us. 

As we make room for more of these positive, magic relationships, we can activate the Law of Attraction to help us find them. 

If we want a relationship with someone who is open and happy, we need to practice being open and happy to others.   If we want someone who is kind, we practice being kind to others.  If we want someone to listen and understand, we have to practice listening and understanding.  If we want someone to trust, then we have to practice being trustworthy ourselves.  Just keep practicing. 

Please know that you are not alone in seeking healing relationships.  I promise you that healing happens, that dark & ugly passes, that you will find your tribe. 

Breathe deeply.  Find a way to put your best foot forward.  Watch the magic flow. Your best life is now.




What would it do for your spirit to spend an entire weekend with other supportive and loving women being inspired, igniting your creative passion, embracing your power, and opening your heart to live your best life? Please come to our weekend retreat so we can get you started on your way to living your best life now. Registration closes August 31.

Also, I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails. In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.

Making Room for Magic - An Attitude of Abundance

We spent last month talking about releasing. We thanked what no longer serves us and let it go. We released things we don't need,  activities we don't need,  relationships we don't need.  We released control.  We released our old selves to step into our new selves.   

Now there's room for us to add some things that will serve us better and help us live our best lives now.  To do that, we need to tap into the mindset of Abundance. 

Take a minute to think and write a few things down.  What lovely things are abundant in your life right now? 

Right this minute, I have  hummingbirds outside my window.  I have one feeder there and eight birds are jockeying for position - not politely.   It's an abundance of birds, of motion, of twittering, of green and red flashes of light, of life, of entertainment.   Also, today there is an abundance of dew, of flowers blooming in the garden.  There is an abundance of humidity [my hair looks great!] and sunshine. 

Take a moment to focus on and feel the abundance around you and the gratitude that comes with it. 

Here is a good mantra for tapping into the abundance all around you. 

• There is plenty.  There are plenty of things.  There are plenty of resources.  There is plenty of time.  There is plenty of space.   I enjoy all the plenty around me.  I am enough.  There is enough.  There is more than enough.  

If your mind moves on to fear and scarcity, thank it for trying to protect you and then focus again to find more abundance and gratitude.  Don't beat yourself up.  We all have to re-focus.  It's part of the process.

Why is this important?   Because a positive outlook will take you much further in getting what you need.  You will have more energy, hope, faith, inspiration and connections.  People like being around positive, hopeful people.   As you continue to connect in positive ways, solutions will present themselves.  As you feel better and more inspired, you'll see new ways of doing things that will bring you lasting benefits.  

A mindset of abundance will allow you to find and get what you seek without feeling like you have to take it from someone else or without feeling like if you get it someone else more deserving won't get theirs. There is enough to go around and plenty more.  Really.  There is plenty.

Practice tapping into an attitude of abundance. 

What would it do for your spirit to spend an entire weekend with other supportive and loving women being inspired, igniting your creative passion, embracing your power, and opening your heart to live your best life? Please come to our October weekend retreat so we can get you started on your way to living your best life now. Registration closes August 31st, 2018.

When All that Good Stuff Gets to be Just Too Much

Lately, I've been doing a lot of research and studying - even more so than usual.  This is my approach: studystudystudy-readreadread-thinkthinkthink-searchsearchsearch-studymoremoremore. I've been soaking it all up like a sponge.  So many great people. So many great ideas. So many voices.

So much input. So much great content.  There are a lot of really wonderful people out there sharing a lot of really wonderful stuff.   The internet is awesome.

But here's the thing about the internet.  You can get lost surfing the web.  Riding the wave of great ideas. Following the links.  Checking out those next three things in the 'You might be interested in...' section at the bottom.  Scrolling down the search results just one more time.  Checking out that stuff in the Resources list.   On and on.

I have been soaking up so much good stuff, that now I feel overloaded.  It's time to stop the flood of input - even though it's great input.

I realized this when I was looking at my personal altar.   It's a beautiful old round metal tray.   I put on it the things I need to remember until they are habits.  The things that symbolize my intentions.  The things that make me feel good about my journey.  One day, as I sat down to meditate, I realized that my tray was so crowded with great stuff that I couldn't really appreciate anything on it.   It was all very important, but it was just too much.   My 'plate' was full.  Too full.

My head is too full, too.  Too many ideas, too many voices, too many intentions, too many fears.  All of that great input had become high quality distractions.  I am distracting myself with other people's great content because I fear I don't have great content of my own.  I fear that my own wisdom is lacking.  I fear that what I have to offer isn't enough. 

However, just because I fear those things are true doesn't mean they actually are true. So I've decided to do an experiment.

I have cleared my altar.  I noticed the redundancies and have removed the extras. I kept something to represent RECEIVING, something for BALANCE and something for TRANSFORMATION.  That is all.  That is enough.

In addition, I am weeding out my inbox.  I pay attention to how a newsletter feels when I open it and if I feel tight and anxious, I unsubscribe.  No more following the links to podcasts or interviews or the next great online retreat.  Those things are all wonderful, it's just that the timing is off right now. I need to process. I need space to hear my own thoughts and do my own thing. I need to trust my own voice.  I am enough.

You are enough, too.   What things are you using as high quality distractions because you don't feel like you're enough? 

Let them go.



I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Letting Go of the Old You

Congratulations!  You already saw the title of the post and you're still reading!  It must be the right time for you.

As I mentioned in my post from the first of the month, transitions mean the letting go of the old way of being.   We let go of who we once were to step into what we want to be.  It can be scary, but I've got you covered.   We'll do it together.  We're keeping it simple and easy. 

Breathe in.  Relax your shoulders.  Exhale and release the old stuff.

Breathe in again.  Deeper.  Open your chest and heart and feel yourself step out into your new way of being.  Exhale and release any anxiety.

Breathe in again.  Hold it for a bit and thank your old self for all the miles and lessons and love. 

Exhale and let your old self go. 

Give yourself a big hug.  Breathe for a minute and let yourself feel free to just BE.  It's going to be a glorious adventure.

I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives. 

Relationships - Letting Go

This month we're talking about Letting Go.   If you're like me, once you get your fingers in something it's really, really hard to let go.  It comes from a Scarcity Mindset. [I'm working on it.] This is true of Stuff, of Ideas, of Habits and of Relationships.

Relationships.  We have to let go of [release!] relationships that no longer serve us.  These are the relationships with crazymakers, manipulators, two-faced friends & family members, takers, back-stabbers, liars, abusers.  You know who they are.

I think one of the reasons it's hard for me to let go is that I feel pretty unattractive.  So if someone pays the least bit of attention to me, I don't want to let that go because I'm certain no one will ever like me again.   One crappy friend is better than no friends at all, right?  What is totally ridiculous about that idea is that I have a bunch of fabulous friends!   People who know me and love me and who are the best friends ever.  I don't need to keep crappy people around.  You don't either. 

Another reason it's hard for me to let go is that I don't like dramatic confrontations.  But here's the thing - and it's a big thing:  Letting go does not require a confrontation at all.   It just requires Letting Go.  As in, 'Stop hanging onto this.  Open your hand [head & heart] and let it goooooo.'   No phone calls, no checking in, no drive bys, no answering emails, no visits, no responses, no reactions, no facebook, no little favors, no contact.   Delete them, block them, forget them.  Then go out with your true friends and have a great time. 

Some relationships are ugly and sticky.  I don't want to minimize the work it might take to get free of them.  If you're dealing with someone like that, I encourage you with all my heart to get some help dealing with it.  You deserve the support from someone local who knows what they're doing and who can be with you the whole way.   Know that we are here, with you, cheering you on. 

So.   What relationships are keeping you from living your Best Life Now?   Which ones can you begin to let go of today?   If you've got a good story of how you let go of one of these, please share it in the comments. 




I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Letting Go of Control

Here's what I suck at:  Giving up control. 

Here's what I need to practice:  Giving up control.

Here's why:  Control is only an illusion and I don't need to buy into it.  Also, cool stuff happens when you step back and get out of the way.

Long term benefits:  I'm still figuring this out.   Lower stress level?  More fun along the journey?  Focus on 'Being' rather than 'Doing [doingdoingdoing]'? 


What do you think the benefits of giving up control are?     Please shout it out in the comments. 



I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all the messy work that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for creatives of all kinds and in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.