Friday, April 12, 2019


©Robin Edmundson, 'Tetrad Floral', watercolor, 24 x 18 inches. 
Unframed.  $600.

For much of my life I have tried to live under the radar.  It was safer that way.

There were a lot of rules:

  • Don't show off
  • Shine, but not too brightly
  • Be great at what you do, but not the best
  • Let men be the leaders and always defer to what they say
  • Smaller is better [translation:  Lose weight, lots of weight]
  • Invisible is good
  • Never ask for attention
  • Don't be proud of what you do
  • Big work = Big [very visible] mistakes. Work small so your mistakes are small
These rules are all shame-based and for 50 years, I was really, really good at shame.  I'm breaking a lot of these rules lately. 

I don't want you to think that I just woke up one morning and said 'Screw the rules!' and made some changes. Confronting a lifetime of shame and changing how you think [about everything!] takes a lot of courage. A lot of time. A lot of patience.  A lot of great teachers.  And a lot of baby steps.

One of these baby steps was to decide to paint bigger.  Risk bigger, visible failures. So, I bought a few blocks of larger paper so I can work in an 18 x 24 inch format, which I have found that I love.  I've been trying new subjects [more florals] and I've been playing big.  And making big mistakes.  And I don't care [as much as I used to. :)]  The painting above is one of my new, larger pieces.  It started as a color experiment while I was teaching a Color Harmonies class here at my studio.  At one point, I 'ruined' it but I kept working on it.  It was so freeing to work on that lovely big paper! Bonus - I think I'm doing better work.

Working bigger is helping me to take the next step in my healing process.  Working bigger lets me see that I can, maybe someday, live bigger and heal bigger.   

That's big.  


  1. Very beautiful! You should be very proud of the great work you are producing!

  2. I'm clapping my hands in glee here! Yay! Bravo! Hurray! (I hear you. I so hear you!)

    1. Oh, Bless you for that! Being heard is a powerful thing.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...