Sunday, May 27, 2018

Confusion

Greene County Barn, Bland Rd.

Confusion is one of the lesser recognized emotions.   It's gets a bad rap.  If one admits to being confused, then others can quickly dismiss her/him as mentally deficient.  No one wants to be in that place.

The thing is that EVERYONE gets confused sometimes. But because we don't want to admit it, what often happens is that when we find ourselves confused, we don't acknowledge it and instead we quickly jump to another emotion such as anger, shame or panic, or we shut down, or we procrastinate, etc. 

When was the last time you allowed yourself to acknowledge being confused?  What is your immediate strategy of choice when you get confused?

When I get confused, I often jump right on into shame.  I know something is going on, I can't figure it out, I should be able to figure it out, why am I not figuring it out?, I thought I figured this out but apparently not, how could I have missed this?, I blew it, I'm an idiot, I can't figure it out, what is going on here?, what's wrong with me?, something is really wrong with me, I suck, etc. 

If confusion is really uncomfortable for you, then being able to admit to yourself, 'I'm confused' or 'This is really confusing' is a great way to start digging yourself out of whatever emotional hole you find yourself in by not acknowledging it.  You don't have to tell anyone else that you're confused.

Once you've labelled it, then you can give yourself time to sort out options, emotions, information, stimuli.   Take your time.

Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of confusion over priorities.  I know what my priorities are - the problem is there are too many excellent ones and not enough time or me to go around.   I have no idea how to sort them out and I definitely do not want to choose, because that means something will get left out and that just feels bad.  Since I'm not reducing my load, I keep on going in a state of overwhelm and frustration.

So, right now I'm acknowledging the confusion and just taking time to sort out my options.   I'll tackle big decisions later.  [and I'll keep you posted.]



[Speaking of confusion and shame, I found this vid of an interview with Brene Brown, which I have watched a couple of times.  It's full of great stuff along these lines.]



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