Finding Joy

On the road to my best life this week, I'm thinking about Joy.

Here's the thing about joy; it's happy.  Here's the thing about me; my default setting is often frustration, not happy.  That made me feel bad for a long time.  So, I worked harder to be happy, to feel joy.  It didn't work...and I got more frustrated.   Seriously, What was WRONG with me??

It took a long time to realize that joy is what happens to me when I become fully immersed in a moment.  For me those moments come when I'm painting, or walking, or gardening, especially when I find something just a bit magical -- like that frosty dogwood twig in the photo.  It's 'winter rest' and 'spring potential' all in one!  I love stuff like that!  That makes me happy - and then the joy comes spilling in. 

For me, the trick is to get out of my own way.  To do the things I love, get excited about the things I get excited about and then linger on those moments.  For me, joy comes when I let myself linger.

Linger.  Even the word makes me happy.  This year I'm going to be doing a lot more lingering.  Over mugs of hot tea, over my walks, over the paint, over the garden, over dinner, over all sorts of things.

What sorts of things will you be lingering over this season? 

I'd like to invite you to join our Best Self facebook group where we can talk freely about becoming our best selves - and all that that entails.  In addition, I have another group, The Well Balanced Artist, for artists of all kinds, in all stages of their creative lives, who are trying to balance their art, business and personal lives.   

Breathe

December is really beautiful here. This is a photo of a farm in Owen County.  It makes me happy to look at it.  Which is really good, because I'm kind of going out of my mind these days.

We've had a bit of holiday drama this year that we are still working through.  It has given me an opportunity to stretch all of my mediation and meditation skills. 

In addition, I took a risk and made a trip to visit a few galleries that I've been interested in.  I have found one that I really love and that I would love to be a part of, but now I'm besieged with a lot of negative self talk. I know how high the quality of their art is.  I know my skills and lack thereof and I am reluctant to put myself out there for what I fear is certain rejection.  The rejection doesn't bother me as much as any judgments that might linger about my lack of skills.  What I'm really afraid of is that I fail and then when I try again, I'd be firstly recognized as not having been good enough previously.   [Does that make sense?]   Should I wait to even attempt until it's likely to be a slam dunk? [as they advise tenure applicants to do?].... Or should I just go for it and keep trying until I get it?

So much difficult thinking!   In the meantime, I do my five and a half minute meditations and I remind myself to breathe.   Just breathe.  Breathe through the conflict.  Breathe through the uncertainty.  Breathe through the disappointment.  Breathe through the anxiety.  Sometimes the breathing is all I can do to keep living my best life now.

Solstice is this next week.  I'll be doing a Letting Go ceremony here.  I do it all by myself, one quiet moment before everyone gets home.  I smudge, thank and bless the house and studio for another year.  I will release what no longer serves me to make room for what lights me up.  And I will breathe. 

So Very Grateful

© Robin Edmundson, 'Light in the Barn', watercolor, 10 x 14 inches.

November is a great month for focusing on gratitude.  I know it's cliche.  I don't care.  It's very important to be grateful.  Not just because 'It's important to be grateful', but because getting into a place of gratitude for what is in front of us is the first step in getting us in the right headspace to attract best-life things to us.

My sisters, mom & I have a daily gratitude group on fb.  No rules.  We generally post 5 things a day we're grateful for.  The lists are varied and creative and can include a very wide gamut of things:  paper clips, warm socks,  running water,  good doctors, the courage to stretch one's comfort zone, a sense of humor, spirituality, etc.  These lists are small things, but it's amazing what a large impact they can have some days in our relationships and daily activities.

Here's my list.  Today I feel so very grateful for:

• 1.  The internet.  So many reasons!!
• 2.  A keyboard that fits my hands.
• 3.  My camera - and a brain that allows me to learn to take better pictures.
• 4.  Hope:  I hope to improve myself this year, hope to improve my relationships, hope to get much closer to living my Best Life every day.   
• 5.  Such terrific people who follow my blog.  I run into you everywhere and I love it when you say hi or follow up on something I've posted here.   I've been trying to be better at making real connections with you here this year.  I hope you can tell.  I'm really thankful for you.   

I heart you all!!  Today I'm sending you a little whisper in your ear that you have something of value to offer your world and that it's OK to offer it. 

What Would it Take....

This is my current Work In Progress.  'October Chicken Coop' 

[Yeah, I'm really creative with titles.  Did I ever tell you that when I had finished my dissertation and was defending it in the Big Academic Meeting with All the Academic Committee Members, the only criticism they had was of the title?   True story.   So I asked them what would be better, they discussed it, told me, I changed it and they granted me my doctorate. Whew.]

It takes me a while to see whether a painting is finished.  I don't want it to just be good, I want it to be great.  I want it to take your breath away.  [Not that I ever achieve that, but that's my goal.] Along with considering what it takes to make a painting great, I've been considering what it takes to make a life great.  And what it would take for me to live that life.

So, in the spirit of metaphors for life, I examined my painting.

A great painting needs:

• good materials so it will last,  appropriate framing for long term protection and beauty.
• a balance of lights and darks
• a balance of hard edges and soft edges
• an interesting composition [arrangement of shapes]
• a story - and if the viewer gets it, so much the better

What does it take for me to paint a great painting?   Ah.  That's harder to accomplish.

• knowledge of what is crap and what is great
• excellent technique and composition skills
• the right materials for painting and framing
• time - time to compose, paint, clean my tools, consider and finesse, consider and finesse, consider and finesse.
• space - space to do it in and if that space is dedicated space so much the better. 
• feedback:  Not just 'I love it, I hate it,' but 'This is what I see...' because that tells me whether a viewer understands what I'm trying to communicate in the painting.'

This metaphor is an interesting one for me.  What would it take for me to live my best life?  I started with the above lists and refined them:

• Good materials
• Balance [and I would add, a graceful way to deal with the times I'm in dis-equilibrium]
• a story - a purpose
• Knowledge of what a crap life looks like and what a great life looks like [for me, not in general]
• Excellent skills
• Time - I rush.  I want to stop rushing.  This means I need less on my plate.  That's hard for me, so I clearly need to consider this more.  
• Space -I've been thinking a lot about head space lately.   Must consider this more, also. 
• Feedback - from the right tribes [I have more than one and I like it that way.]

This has given me a whole lot to think about.  I'll be revisiting this regularly.  I'd love to hear your thoughts. What would it take for you to live your best life?

Feel free to leave comments on the blog, my fb pages, in an email, etc.

Best Life

Amy and I have been talking a lot lately about Big Ideas in capital letters.  Transformation.  Metamorphosis.  Breaking through to where the Magic is.  Stretching that Comfort zone.  Best Life.

We're planning something Wonderful - Magical - Transformational - for October of 2018, because we want to stay on that road to living our Best Lives. 

As we plan and prepare, we're talking a lot about what it means for us to live our Best Life. We've created a fb group to talk about these things.

For me, to live my Best Life means to be honest about who I am, what my real skill sets are [and aren't], to work in a state of flow more often, to dream big, to work toward those dreams with focus, to stretch my comfort zone and see what I can do.   I want to be able to say my Best Life is now.


What does it mean for you to live your Best Life?   Let me know in the comments/fb/email.  I really want to know.